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| Verse Eight Tentacoo Wape
Featuring
Song
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| Subaru is a 26 year-old obsessed with slash, fantasy, and languages. Though originally from Toledo, she is presently residing in Columbus where she
attends community college while preparing to transfer to university to become a successful translator/interpreter.
Be warned that her tastes vary from cute and child-like to dark and demented. So, be ready for the unexpected. Try not to be offended. Consider this a challenge in the employment of coping skills. This is your one and only warning. Subaru is currently involved with a dashing Gary Oldman look-a-like with whom she is very in love. Her Austrialian mate informed her that his nickname Down Under would be "Jezza" which Subaru likes very much and has adopted for him. Yay! |
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| Anime & Manga Alichino, Angel Sanctuary, Boys Next Door, Cardcaptor Sakura, Clover, D.N.Angel, Earthian, Gasaraki, Gensoumaden Saiyuki, Gundam Wing, Gravitation, Hellsing, Mobile Suit Gundam, Petshop of Horrors, Rurouni Kenshin, Saiyuki Gaiden, Shinsengumi Imon Peacemaker & Peacemaker Kurogane, Shoujo Kakumei Utena, Tenkuu no Escaflowne, Tokyo Babylon, Tubasa Resevoir Chronicle, Weiß Kreuz, Wild Adapter, X, Yami no Matseui Mangaka CLAMP, Matsushita Youko, Minekura Kazuya, Kurono Nanae, Nobuhiro Watsuki, Yuki Kaori Artists Luis Royo, Keith Parkinson, Larry Elmore, Claude Monet, Edgar Degas, Pierre-Auguste Renoir Authors E.A. Poe, H.P. Lovecraft, H.G. Wells, William Shakespeare, J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Alexandre Dumas, Margaret Weis, David Eddings, Neil Gaiman Music Nightwish, Therion, Lullacry, Within Temptation, Lacuna Coil, Tapping the Vein, Collide, Rammstein, Wumpscut, VNV Nation, KMFDM, Lords of Acid, Depeche Mode, The Cure, Sarah McLachlan, Tori Amos, Fiona Apple, Jewel, Loreena McKennit, Wolfsheim, The Crüshadows, Nine Inch Nails, Switchblade Symphony, Garbage, HIM, Evanescence, Sisters of Mercy, Enigma, Delerium, Enya, Marilyn Manson, Kamelot, Poe, Iced Earth, Type O Negative, Thrill Kill Kult, Cradle of Filth, 80s music, Jrock. Books American Gods, The Art of War, The Belgariad, The Chronicles of Amber, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Count of Monte Cristo, Crime and Punishment, DragonLance (the original stuff by Margaret Weis and Terry Hickman), The Giving Tree (and all works of Shel Silverstein), Harry Potter, Memoirs of a Geisha, The Name of the Rose, Brave New World, Fahrenheit 451, The Handmaid's Tale, 1984, many Star Wars novels, many vampire novels (including the first two-ish Vampire Chronicles and works by Chelsae Quinn Yarbro), the works of J.R.R. Tolkien, H.G. Wells, E. A. Poe, William Shakespeare, H.P. Lovecraft, and Alexandre Dumas Movies 10 Things I Hate About You, American Psycho, Batman (original), Batman Begins, The Boondock Saints, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (new version), Dark City, The Dark Crystal, Equilibrium, Harry Potter, Interview with the Vampire, Labyrinth, The Last Unicorn, Legend, Le Pacte des Loups, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, The Lord of the Rings, The Machinist, The Never Ending Story, The Secret of NIMH, The Secretary, Serenity, Star Wars, Tim Burton films Places Ipoh *whine*, home with Freeway, at the library in study, the Dube. Hobbies Studying, writing, web design, Japanese culture, surfing the net Things Hello Kitty, penguins, butterflies, ladybugs, pinwheels, winged creatures (especially cats), starry nights, mashed potatoes, Freeway (mah kitty!) Seihoshi-sama (black 01 Saturn SL2), Beast-sama the Second (computer) Koumyou-sama (sword) Phrases I'm so fun-loving I'm a danger to myself and others. Do us all the favor of drinking this bleach. Class Creative writing and science fiction courses. Celebs Gary Oldman, Christian Bale, Sean Bean, Johnny Depp, Jet Li, Chow Yun-Fat, Ken Watanabe, Al Pacino, Alan Rickman, Donnie Yen, Tony Leung Chiu Wai, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Ralph Fiennes, Ewan McGregor, Shinji Takeda, Heath Ledger, Michelle Yeoh, Ziyi Zhang, Li Gong, Milla Jovovich, Julia Stiles, Christina Ricci, Angelica Lee, Helena Bonham-Carter, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Maggie Cheung, Jennifer Connelly, Summer Glau, Sadie Frost, Cate Blanchet, Tilda Swinton Bishoujo Sumeragi Hokuto, Sakurazuka Setsuka, Kasumi Karen, Magami Tokiko, Lucrezia Noin, Miharu, Yukishiro Tomoe, Takani Megumi, Komagata Yumi, Alexiel, Mudo Sara, Suu, Oruha, Fuuma the Shinobi, Yamazaki Ayumu, Seguchi Mika, Ukai Noriko, Millerna Sara Aston, Yaone, Matsui Yayoi, Yamaki Riho, Ruby Moon, Suzaku, Integral Hellsing, Manx, Birman, Mad Hatter/Belial (can I list 'her' here?), Aerith, Yuffie, Tifa, Lulu, Rikku Bishounen Treize Khushrenada, Zechs Merquise, Folken Fanel, Dilandau Albatou, Brad Crawford, Schuldich, Sakurazuka Seishirou, Sumeragi Subaru, Okita Souji, Hijikata Toshizou, Monou Fuuma, Kuzuki Kakyou, Legato Bluesummers, Shimomori Aoshi, Honjou Kamatari, Seta Soujirou, Kinomoto Touya, Yue, Yuki Eiri, Tatsuhiko Shido, Cho Hakkai, Sha Gojyou, Tatsumi Seiichirou, Tsuzuki Asato, Kurosaki Hisoka, Watari Yutaka, Kurosaki Nagare, Mibu Oriya, SouRyuu, Kijin, Touda, Rikugou, Sakuya Kira, Lucifer, Braska, Vincent Valentine, Sephiroth Badasses Auron, Saitou Hajime, Alucard, Cid Highwing (cos they're not really bish...) Pairings Treize and Zechs, Brad and Schuldich, Folken and Dilandau, Seishirou and Subaru, Hijikata and Okita, Saitou and Okita, Fuuma and Kakyou, Hakkai and Gojyou, Tatsumi and Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki and Hisoka, Auron and Braska, Cid and Vincent, Touda and Kijin (crack, I know!), Nagare and Tatsumi (even more crack!), Remus and Sirius, Shido and Riho, Shishio and Yumi, Alucard and Integral |
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| This almost seems like a waste of space since everyone I read seems to have moved to LJ. In any case, check out my LJ and MySpace friends lists. |
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 Voiceless Screaming |
 Guilty Pleasure |
 It's No Good |
 My Bloody Valentine |
 Hypnotic Distortion |
 In Memorium |
 Bara no Namae |
 Manwhore |
 Just Like a Prayer |
 Forever Love |
 Badass for Sale or Rent |
 Our Conversation |
 Just Like a Prayer |
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| Legal Stuff This brutal violation of delicate sensibilities is brought to you by Blogger and the Assocciation for the Equal Treatment of Males in Tentacle Porn. Yami no Matsuei is copyright © 1995-2006 Matsushita Youko-sensei and Hakusensha. All images sliced, diced, and otherwise bastardized by me using Adobe Photoshop CS. Please don't sue me, I'm poor. Suing me would be like trying to squeeze blood from a rock. Page content and layout copyright © 2001-2006 Subaru Harumasa. |
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Subject: Oh, what tacos I shall give! Reference: Invader Zim Music: none Mood: Blissing Yes... The inevitable has happened. I've finally been exposed to the horror that is Invader Zim. In light of the drama of the weekend, I think it's enough to post that listening to the sound files I transfered to my computer makes me smile. As for the drama, if you weren't there, it's not your issue so... *rasberry* Well, class let out early so I'm going to be on my way home to fill out this job application. Ciao! |
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Subject: O-hisashiburi desu! Reference: update Mood: hungry Music: none And now for something completely different... AN UPDATE! *gasp* Right. To start with, my flat here in Columbus is wonderful. It's very near to everything, shops, restaurants, bars, events, etc. And it's onthe third floor so rather safe. Who wants to hike up three flights of rickety stairs to rob a place? Plus, unless they're hauling books away, there isn't much to take... Then again, that inflatable chair might be highly coveted... who knows? LOL. I've been hanging out a lot with Jeremy and his friends, Dan, Brady, Ian. They're a nice bunch of people. Funny, friendly, and we're all gamer geeks too(woohoo!). It's so nice to know that I can have mature friends around whom I can, at times, be completely immature. Anyway, JEremy is startinga fantasy game, hopefully in the next couple of weeks. We've all made characters, now we're just waiting for a convinient time to begin. I'm going to be doing a Dark Ages Vampire game soon... Maybe after the holidays and such. Lauren wants to learn to play and that's the game she chose. So, now I'm hunting down players and going back and forth in my head over whether I should run a Constantinople game or go all epic and pull out the Transylvania Chronicles *evil laugh*. I'm so undecided on that matter. Right... School began last week. I'm scheduled for three classes for fifteen credit hours at Columbus State Community College. For anyone who cares to try to contact me or hang out or schedule anything, here is my schedule: Monday 2.00 - 2.50 Pre-Algebra (yeah, I'm dumb like that) 5.30 - 7.50 Introduction to Physical Anthropology Tuesday 2.00 - 2.50 Pre-Algebra 5.30 - 7.50 Japanese Wednesday 2.00 - 2.50 Pre-Algebra 5.30 - 7.50 Introduction to Physical Anthropology Thursday 2.00 - 2.50 Pre-Algebra 5.30 - 7.50 Japanese Friday 2.00 - 2.50 Pre-Algebra Woot. The job hunt is not going so swimmingly as I had hoped. Still looking... Desperate enough to get into food service (thought not fast food). ~.~ Joy. I need to find a nice flexible job that will cope with my soon-to-be Leelou orange hair. I guess that's really it for now. I'm going to pad off to the caf to eat my lunch. Tucked neatly within my very old ThunderCats lunchbox, a tasty bologna nad mustard sandwich awaits! It's side kicks are a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, Iced Animal Cookies, and a mini Rice Crispy treat! Top it all off witha Coke and life couldn't be better! Yay! |
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Subject: Sleep dep! Reference: 26 hours of AWAKE! Mood: Sleep deprived Music: Milla Jovovich - In a Glade Right.. I've officially been awake for twenty-six hours now due to the fact that I'm just not tired... except when I drive so.. No more driving today! On that note, I'm working on stuff for the new domain so... hopefully this week I'll have -something- there. Talked to Dan yesterday... Made plans for stir fry and waffles upon my return home. Talked to Lauren today... Made plans for a girls' night Mabon celebration! I wonder if she would be keen on doing it in a cemetary! That would so fucking rock! Alright.. off to work I go before I become too incohorent to function. Ciao! |
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Subject: A walk down memory lane Reference: an old piece of fanfiction Mood: tired Music: Gackt - Sekirei So, I'm visiting the 'rents house for the week. They're going to Vegas and I'm house and cat-sitting while they're away. To while away time this evening, I've been going through some very old files on the computer. One I happened to find is the fic I began writing just after Seishirou's death. I read through most of it and it made em very nostalgic. Thus, I decided I wanted to finish it! But... since my hard drive died a while ago, I lost al the images. So I am now stuck futiley trying to find the Rainbow Bridge scans somewhere, anywhere on the net so I can finish this story. *wibbles* |
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Subject: Moving day... and a note on American democracy Reference: Doris "Granny D" Haddock Mood: Enlightened Music: Nightwish - She is my Sin (live) Just wanted to drop this line to let everyone who's curious know that I'm moving for (hopefully) the final time (for at least the next year). I'm leaving my parents house where I was temporarily situated to settle into my own flat a few short blocks from OSU. Because of some financial issues, I may not be online regularly for a few months or longer. I'll try to check my email once a week at the public library, so if anyone needs to contact me, I can be reached via email at padfootpink@yahoo.com. I will also not have a phone, only my cell which is, sadly, a Toledo area code. Hopefully in a few months I can afford a regular phone. If you're not privy to that number and you want or need to call me for whatever reason, just email me, I'll get it to you eventually. On another note, I just wanted to share with everyone a website I found very eye-oepning on the state of America's democracy. It is the website of New Hampshire's Senate hopeful Doris "Granny D" Haddock. Please read her speeches, what she has to say is not coming from teh voice of a special interest or corporation or even a member of America's aristocratic elite. No, indeed, she is simply an old woman who's ninety-four years of life (yes, ninety-four) have given her wisdom and clarity. I would appreciate if anyone who reads this and plans to vote this year would read Ms. Haddock's speeches. Perhaps they will touch you as they have me. |
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Subject: Concert Potmortem Reference: Nightwish and Lullacry Mood: Fangirly Music: Nightwish - Over the Hills and Far Away Today I went to Cleveland with Lauren and Vova to see Lullacry and Nightwish. We arrived in Cleveland around 7.00 and the show began at 8.00. Doors opened at 7.30 and we staked out a position just at the stage's edge. Yeah! Much touching of the artists ensued, Tanja, Emppu, Tuomas, and Marco! The show began at closer to 8.15 with a local alternative band. They were okay. I didn't care for their style but the music wasn't horrid. Not ten minutes into their act, Lauren leaned over to me and in her best Teen Girl Squad voice said "crotching." I almost died, because the singer was, well, crotching. Lullacry was next, taking the stage at 9.00 No picture I've seen of Tanja, the lead singer, does her justice. She's petite and in good shape and very pretty. She has ass loads of charisma and is now ranked among one of the most beautiful people I've ever had the pleasure to see. I was transfixed. While I bought Lullacry's CD to get an idea of what they sounded like. But damn! They put on a great show! I definitely will see them again! Then came Nightwish. they played from about 10.00 to just shy of midnight. It was like... a religious experience. More details on it tomorrow. Tarja was wonderful, singing to the audience with so much feeling in words, voice, and posture. She looked as though she would cry when we chanted for them to come back on stage. I ended up getting one of Emppu's picks right down into my cleavage. What a great souvenir! Woot woot! More details tomorrow.. now that I don’t stink of sweat and smoke and beer, I'm going to bed. |
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Subject: Icons! Refrence: none Mood: Accomplished Music: Nightwish - Planet Hell Geh... too much anime... And so few pictures on this computer. *gazes longingly at usual compie* Anywho... on to the icons (rated R for language)! 1.  2.  3.  4.  5.  6.  7.  8.  9.  10.  11.  12.  13.  14.  15.  Info & Credits 1. Tarja of Nightwish, picture found at Nightwish.com 2. Tarja of Nightwish, border by Teh Indy, picture found at Nightwish.com 3. Dracula (Gary Oldman) and Mina (Winona Rider) of Bram Stoker's Dracula with border by Teh Indy 4. Schuldich of Weiss Kreuz with another border by Teh Indy 5. Kami-sama of Saiyuki, border by Teh Indy 6. Cho Hakkai and Sha Gojyou of Saiyuki, border by Teh Indy 7. Genjyo Sanzou of Saiyuki, border by Teh Indy 8. Sanzou, border by Teh Indy 9. Sanzou 10. Gojyou of Saiyuki 11. Hakkai of Saiyuki 12. Hakkai of Saiyuki 13, 14, and 15 are all of Gojyou. I was playing around with the text and don't know which I like best. All Saiyuki Reload and Reload Gunlock screencaps courtesy of YareYare.net |
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Subject: More on Saiyuki Reload and Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Reference: YareYare.net Mood: Ecstatic Music: none Woot! Doing random google searches for Saiyuki Reload looking for a screen capture of a particular image in the end credits led me to a site with screen caps from each episode of Genou Maden Saiyuki, Saiyuki Reload, and Saiyuki Reload Gunlock. WOOT! It looks as though Kami-sama is in Reload! This is gooood. Also, found screen caps of Hakkai's youkai form... From the back, as ever. I love that vine pattern he has. *swoon* Alright, that's all for now. |
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Subject: If I Were... Reference: Tzigane's LiveJournal Mood: Chipper Music: 80s on the radio If I were a month I would be: November If I were a day of the week I would be: Thursday If I were a time of day I would be: midnight-oh-one If I were a planet I would be: Uranus (it's pretty you pervy folks!) If I were a direction I would be: South If I were a piece of furniture, I would be: a gaudy 70s armchair If I were a liquid I would be: absinthe If I were a stone, I would be: bloodstone If I were a tree, I would be: an oak tree If I were a bird, I would be: a blue jay If I were a tool, I would be: a wrench If I were a flower/plant, I would be: chrysanthemum If I were a mythical creature, I would be: a selkie If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a harpsichord If I were an animal, I would be: a margay If I were a color, I would be: cerulean If I were an emotion, I would be: hope If I were a vegetable, I would be: those mini corns ^_^ If I were a sound, I would be: music If I were an element, I would be: fire If I were a car, I would be: a Subaru of some sort If I were a song, I would be: China Roses If I were a book, I would be: an epic fantasy novel! If were a place, I would be: a tarn If I were a material, I would be: linen If I were a taste, I would be: a spicy-sweet mix of curry, ginger, and rosemary If I were a scent, I would be: white plum If I were a religion, I would be: a philosophy, not an organized religion If I were an object, I would be: misplaced If I were a body part I would be: the curve of the hip If I were a facial expression I would be: a mysterious grin If I were a subject in school I would be: English literature If I were a cartoon character I would be: Sakuma Ryuuichi v.v If I were a shape I would be: a rhombus EDIT: All praise bit torrent! Downloaded the first fifteen episodes of Saiyuki Reload. Though only the first ten have finished and I've only watched the very first, I wanted to give some thoughts. Overall the animation was well-done. The music was great. All the things that made Gensou Maden Saiyuki so fun are still there - the bickering among Sanzou-ikkou, the misconceptions of the random townsfolk they meet, etc etc. However, much to my delight, there were no more youkai dissipating into millions of CGI dots once they were killed. And there was *gasp* blood! On Genjyo Sanzou There wasn't much of a change in Sanzou. Though, and I could be wrong, I thin he has boots or some sort of shoe rather than his sandals. In the first episode he kicked Gojyou and I'm pretty certain he had a shoe or boot of some sort. Seki Toshihiko's performance was splendid as ever. The best thing I liked about Sanzou in this was that his gun didn't make that annoying sound when fired. It sounded more like a gun... though.. not really.. It's the kind of stereotypical gunshot sound from TV. On Cho Hakkai Ishida Akira! *heartheartheart* I love this man! Love him to death! I didn't notice any distinct changes in Hakkai's design. His monocle was a bit different from before, slightly more elliptical than circular. I'll be sure to take a closer look at him in the next episode. Though I was happy for the death of the evil CGI dots-of-youkai, Hakkai's summoning of his ki-blast had those CGI dots. Grrr. But it was small so it looked relatively decent. On Sha Gojyou FINALLY! Finally this poor kappa has had some justice done! His red hair is in fact red, not magenta as it was in Gensou Maden Saiyuki. In addition, Minekura-sensei finally gave the man some decent pants! Gods, I hated those old pants. Straight leg pants he has now, in addition to a long sleeved coat. Bandana is still there, but brown now. And, as ever, Hirata Hiroaki does well as the flirtatious kappa. On Son Gokuu I think poor Gokuu got Gojyou's hand-me-downs. His pants look like the bottoms have been ripped or cut off. But it's cute. Hoshi Souichirou reprises his role as everyone's favorite monkey. As with Hakkai, I didn't really notice much on design change other than the pants. I'll take a better look next episode. In other notes, Jiipu is still called Hakuryuu. *le sigh* No props for Jiipu. Also, after watching Gojyou pull his shakujyo out of spandex space, it was so refreshing to see him "magically" summon it as Gokuu does his nyoi-bo. Next episode has Kougaiji and his crew. Can't wait! |
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Subject: Call me Malfoy Reference: My New Head Mood: Bouncy Music: Therion - Seawinds BEHOLD, my new white hair of dooooom! |
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Subject: That's Gonna Leave a Mark Reference: none Mood: Tired and tingly Music: none I just wanted to let the world know that my ass is now home to a very lovely hand-shaped red mark. It hurts but in a good way though I'm sure I'll have a change of opinion on that matter. But, at least the fetus who gave it to me also gave me his number at the end of the night. (Yes, he's a fetus... Only nineteen). And now, I'm off to get. |
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Subject: I Worship at the Altar of Gary Oldman Reference: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Mood: Partly amused, partly bored Music: HIM - Buried Alive by Love Saw PoA for the second time today. While David Thewlis and Gary Oldman aren't how I pictured Remus and Sirius, I do rather adore their portrayals of each character. Well, I adore Gary Oldman on gp. I like the style this new director used and think that, thus far, this is the best of the HP films. Without giving away anything for those who haven't seen the movie (or read teh book), I just want to say Snape had the best dialogue as usual. Calling Remus and Sirius a married couple was just grand! There is much slash for those who are looking. I highly recommend this film and (if I have the funds) will attempt to beat my record of seeing a show eight times in the theatre with this one. |
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Subject: Quizzie & Lava post mortem Reference: What threat to the Bush Administration are you? Mood: Sweaty (does that count as a mood?) Music: None, Judge Matthis is playing on the roomie's tele Ai sent me this quizzie in my email. It's so fekin' funny!  Threat rating: Medium. Your total lack of decent family values makes you dangerous, but we can count on some right wing nutter blowing you up if you become too high profile. What threat to the Bush administration are you? brought to you by Quizilla On other topics: The post mortem of Wednesday at Lava. Arrived promptly at 10.00pm. Didn't get in til quarter after as I had to circle the block to find parking. Free meters, huzzah! Was complimented on the street by some guys on my singing (they had heard me as I parked my car apparently). I was impressed by the place. Very classy with a red lava theme (well, dur!). Lots of sitting areas and a big bar, then curtain of metallic beads to seperate the bar from the dance floor and more seating to one side of the dance floor. I checked my bag with Bartender Mike and planted myself in a chair next to the DJs box. Requested a few songs right away in hopes of hearing them at some point during the night. One girl got up and danced beautifully! I had the opportunity to dance with her and talk to her later in the evening. I told her how great she looked and she returned the compliment to me. Very fun. I wish I'd have gotten her name. In any case Wollt Ihr Das Bett In Flammen Sehen played and I danced. After that I tried to stop as little as possible. Overall, I had a delightful time of it and will go back this Wednesday for the last time before leaving Cinci for the summer! Yay! ((this post snipped short by tech dif... sorry for the troubles)) |
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Subject: Potter Puppet Pals Reference: www.potterpuppetpals.com Mood: Amused Music: None Just for the record... Not only is this the best flash ever (I *heart* my Bothering Snape LJ icon) but... NOW THEY HAVE T-SHIRTS! O.O I want! |
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Post-mortem report of the Final Night of the Warehouse: The evening began well with my prompt 10.30pm arrival. What can I say, I'm cheap. I don't want to pay $4.00 to get in after paying $5.00 to park. The place was crowded quickly, reminscent of New Year's though on a slightly smaller scale. I checked my bag with Bartender Mike and went to have a seat. Since my usual seat had been moved, I planted myself at a table just inside the doors, though I didn't like not being able to watch the parade of people entering. It wasn't long until I felt completely under-dressed, what with all the gowns and corsets floating by me. About fifteen minutes in, a group of not-so-pleasing to look upon males flocked around me... Most had in previous weeks attempted to earn my affections. Met a fellow pagan, started chatting about stuff. We played a game of questions to get to know each other. His Dionysian nature was readily apparent. Escaped exchanging numbers when "Personal Jesus" played. B-line for the dance floor, baby! I decided not to stop dancing lest I lose my secured place to the ever-growing crowd. Of course by this point all thoughts of watching the in-coming parade were gone. I took a few breaks, the first to meander up stairs and get a better look at all the bastards who didn't support the club but bothered to show up for its final night (what nerve!). Among the crowd, though definitely not in the bastard catergory I saw Chuck and Jen. They're such a sweet couple. And rather attractive together as well. I didn't go down to say hello as they were dancing, but all is well, I ran into them later near the bar. Making my way back downstairs, I once again slipped onto the dance floor. I didn't see anyone else I knew until my first trip to the little girl's room... I had to squeeze my way past Patty, Bram, and a large group that seemed to be flocked around them. This I managed without drawing attention to myself. Remained on the dance floor until I realized I had nearly lost all fluids to perspiration. Made way back to the bar oddly about three people away from Bram & Co. After waiting an obscenely long time, I began chatting with the girl next to me who had been waiting even longer. During that ten to fifteen minutes, another girl came up to me and said that I should go back out and dance. I said that I would but I needed something to drink. Eventually I got Mike's attention and he gave me my orange juice for free... I assume it was because I had to wait and had nothing at all to do with my womanly charms. Took my sweaty self and my juice back out to the dance floor where I was promtply joined by Girl from the Bar, Girl Who Approached me at the Bar, and a third very lovely girl. And with them I danced the rest of the evening, making only one more trip through Bram & Co. to the ladies' room. Toward the end of the evening I waited again for seemingly ever to get my bag from Mike then hopped back out to dance to "Blister in the Sun" at which point I ran into Bryan. Danced with he and the girls. Made introductions with the girls and asked if they'd be at the new club next week. I'm hoping to see them. On the way out, bumped into Bram who was *gasp* surprised to see me there! "What are you doing here?" Said he. "I've been here," replied I. Hugged and said good night. Grew bitter on the way home, which is not by any stretch of the imagination a long drive. How is that I notice him among such crowd and know almost at all times where he is... But he doesn't see me dancing my ass off all night? *snort* For a male who says he cares so much he sure doesn't -act- like it. No fewer than four times was I within three feet of him and he DIDN'T NOTICE? Yeah, that's love, ladies and gents. Time to put your money where your mouth is and prove all the things you've said, baby. I'm not going to melt for soem pretty words this time around. Overall, the night was great... couldn't help thinking how much more fun it would've been with Ladonna or Danae-chan there. But it was a grand time nonetheless. In other news, Shi-chan and I are at least on emailing terms again. This brightens me. I miss you Shi-chan! |
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Yeah yeah... I know I've been MIA.. I've been busy. For the few people who bother to read this... I found this song that's very indicative of how I feel that I'd like to share with you. I think the person it applies to will know... This sadness won't let go It's hold of me No matter how hard I try There's something strange deep inside of my heart And nothing really matters to me I'm so alone My heart is bleeding Unchain my soul and let me go I close my eyes and taste my fears Down there so alone Sorrow inside made me bleed I need you to unchain me Sorrow inside made me bleed I need you to unchain me I close my eyes and taste my fears Down there so alone Sorrow inside made me bleed I need you to unchain me Sorrow inside made me bleed I need you to unchain me Unchain me I need you to unchain me Unchain me I need you to unchain me Right so... Off to bed.. I have a paper to finish writing tomorrow. Ciao. |
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In random wanderings of the net, today I found the first and only piece of fanfiction I ever published... WOW. I'm surprised it's still anywhere at all... And now, without any editing from it's original published form, I give you: Title: Belonging Author: Subaru Author's Note: This is my first published piece of fanfiction. C&C welcome. It was written spur of the moment in my comp class this evening when I should've been taking notes. Warnings: Mild spoilers for episode 13 of the anime as well as a touch of shounen ai. Don't blink, you might miss it. Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei. It's owned by Matsushita-sensei. It's a really great series. Support the industry! Buy it! - - - - - - - - - - It wasn't until that moment, when I saw him engulfed by the flames of Hell, that I realized the gift he'd given me. For my whole life and beyond, I'd closed myself to everyone, the pain and hate from betrayal coursing through me as though it was new. The pain of my family's abandonment; the hate for the doctor who was to care for me but instead tortured and killed me. Yet, in spite of my forced emotional seclusion, he welcomed me with open arms. He tolerated my coldness and cared even that much more. He cared even when I didn't need it and he even protected me at risk of himself. I couldn't understand why at those times... At first I thought he was simply kind to everyone. His outrage showed every time someone living or dead was hurt on his watch. Suffering glittered in those eyes of his despite his smile every time he failed to protect someone. It seemed as though everyone was special to him, thereby making no one special at all. But, I was wrong. I had been jealous of others who came into his life... Jealous of the way he loved them all, they way he pined and died just a little when he lost them. Maria, the vampire with an angel's voice; Kazusa, the little girl targeted by a demon; Mariko, a highschool girl who witnessed her best friend's horrific death; And... Hijiri, the violin prodigy... He wanted so badly to be close to them, to protect them, to save them. I could feel his pain in my heart. I felt his pain as my own for the first time when Tsubaki-hime died. I cried. All the way back home, I cried. All night long. His arms held me so gently, occasionally stroking my hair through it all. Even though I killed her, he stayed to comfort, forgive and understand. He understood. And when he felt less than human, I was able to give him the same comfort with soft words and touches. We moved out of the snowy alley to shelter under a small archway. There he rested his head on my thighs and twined his fingers with mine. Even then I didn't know... Not until I found myself bounding through the black flames of Hell did I realize. Not even then really, not until he spoke. "I've lived too long... And I'm tired..." In that instant that I imagined a life without him, I truly understood. I flung myself at him, dropping to my knees and wrapping my arms tightly around him as if to save him from his despair or drown in it with him. "Then exist only for me!!" I begged, sobbing against the crook of his neck. "I don't want to be alone anymore! The place I belong..." I choked on my own words. My fingers curled tighter in the plain robe he wore. "The place I belong is with you... Always with you...!" As words and tears spilled form me, he returned my desperate embrace, tentatively at first but then more fiercely. The flames danced around us, closing in and bringing true final death near. At that moment I understood. His feelings flowed into me, stripping me of all fear. Ai shiteru. He had given me the gift of love. Not only from himself, but in the short time I'd known him, it had blossomed in my hate-filled soul as well. In our short time together, he had overcome a lifetime's worth of suffering and taught me how to love. Hot tears poured over my cheeks as I clung to him as though he were life itself. For me... he was. In that moment we lived only for each other. The flames grew hotter and the ceiling came tumbling down. As darkness engulfed us, I squeezed him tightly and gave voice to his feeling... and mine... flowing through my heart. "Ai shiteru... Tsuzuki..." |
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| Happy birthday! |
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| for nayone else who may wish to lecture me whether via phone, email, instant messager, or face-to-face... DON'T. My whole damn life is on-hold until this weekend and if anyone wishes to discuss it before then you may fucking blow me. |
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As promised, that odd dream I had. This conversation took place on Yahoo Messenger with a friend of mine on 18 April. Me (10:59:38 PM): so this dream I had last night.... Me (10:59:47 PM): I've had a similar dream before.. Kris (10:59:57 PM): yessssssss Me (11:00:17 PM): Have you ever had a dream and even while you dreamt it you knew it was a dream and that you had dreamed of that location before, even though it's not a real place? Kris (11:00:34 PM): yep Me (11:00:37 PM): ok.. Me (11:01:19 PM): Well, the dream was like a theme park of sorts.. but not with rides... more like with shops and stuff... You'd ride in little golf-cart like cars and stop in the different houses and they were all done up in like different period s and there were a few rides and such... right? Kris (11:02:05 PM): yes.. Me (11:03:08 PM): I was with a group of people.. all of us students... I couldn't say what age or that I in fact knew any of them.. I think they were just people I made up.. two girls in addition to myself and a boy.. a large boy.. like a football player, right? Kris (11:03:20 PM): ok Me (11:03:42 PM): and we pick a Victorian styled house... hunter green with white trim and drawn curtain and one of the round onion styled thingies at the top right? Me (11:03:50 PM): Easily three stories plus the onion on top Kris (11:04:06 PM): there is one like that close to here Kris (11:04:13 PM): but anyway, yes Me (11:04:26 PM): There's a sign outside also in white and I don't recall what is said... but one can't read in dreams anyway... Me (11:04:50 PM): So we go into this house and once inside it's like HUGE.. I mean dimensionally impossible in the real world you know... Me (11:04:56 PM): And it's like... a house of horrors! Me (11:05:03 PM): And a maze! You have to find your way out! Kris (11:05:08 PM): oh sounds cool Me (11:05:18 PM): well yeah except that it was kinda scary Me (11:05:43 PM): I mean.. I remember we all got separated right away and I somehow ended up in the cellar/basement area.... Kris (11:05:51 PM): what better thing to be in that a scary maze Me (11:06:24 PM): it was dark and dank and I heard these kinda soft sounds.. like whimpering.. so I thought maybe someone had gotten to o scared (I knew I was scared) and I went to find them... Me (11:06:48 PM): I rounded a corner and there set up several partitions with curtains... like the kind that separate two patients sharing a hospital room... Kris (11:06:59 PM): yes Me (11:07:04 PM): They looked kinds orange but there was a glow behind them.. like candle light... Me (11:07:50 PM): I pulled one back only to find a rather handsome young man in a high collard green sweater with close-cropped brown hair... His sleeves were rolled up and his arms covered in blood... Me (11:08:07 PM): the whimpering and moaning was coming from what I think at one time had been a person laying on the table with half it's guts outside! Me (11:08:21 PM): IT was like.. Frankenstein-esque... Me (11:08:33 PM): Like parts were being taken out and new ones put in... Kris (11:08:38 PM): hmmm Me (11:09:04 PM): That's just one part I remember clearly... I screamed and ran off... but not before I saw a woman with an equally pleasant look peeked out from around another partition and I heard footsteps following me... Me (11:09:44 PM): I got back upstairs and passed a woman reading runes, I think.... she tried to speak to me but I didn't listen to her and I went through a door that had a window that looked outside next to it.. but it wasn't an exit.. I Kris (11:09:57 PM): this is a odd dream Me (11:10:16 PM): It curved around the house is seemed and sloped upward... Then two other girls I didn't know came running down screaming for me not to go up there.. they looked back and practically plowed over me to get out... Me (11:10:37 PM): I heard this scraping noise behind them and saw a shadow that looked like some sort of giant.. centipede, perhaps? Me (11:10:56 PM): At some point I got out of the house.. but then went back... I'm not sure how or why... Me (11:11:36 PM): I just remember not feeling so afraid this time because I knew what to expect.. I knew what was in the onion, the third floor, the second, the ground and the cellar.... yet I couldn’t' recall the way out once inside again... Me (11:12:03 PM): Oddly, there was like a lobby.. with tiled floors and plain white walls.. a security guard and an elevator... (I swear they weren't there before) Me (11:12:50 PM): I got in the elevator with a group of people and we went downward.. each getting off at a different level until there was just me and young man in the elevator... Me (11:13:48 PM): He had on a green sweater with the sleeves rolled up and a high collar.. He smiled very pleasantly and had short brown hair (sound familiar?) And black jeans.. he had on black jeans... but no shoes... just black socked feet.. but for some reason I didn't realize who it was or what was in the basement.. it was as though I had forgotten it all.. Me (11:14:35 PM): He asked me where I was going and I told him I was trying to get out... he asked if he could help me and offered his arm which I took. Then we got off of the elevator into the same dank and dark cellar.. but there was no whimpering this time.. only the sounds of hospital machinery... Me (11:14:54 PM): The first part of the cellar was like a dungeon... old lopsided bricks and such you know? Kris (11:15:08 PM): aye Me (11:15:35 PM): and then we rounded the corner and saw the partitions that seemed to still be glowing orange and I stopped... He still had my arm and he looked back at me with that curious smile.. and all this time never opened his eyes.. even the first time he never opened his eyes.... Kris (11:17:38 PM): and..... Me (11:17:45 PM): I started screaming again and pulled away for him and he just kinda cocked his head to one side and moved toward me.. but I found a stairs and just threw myself into the stair well to get away... and then.. the next thing I remember is being back outside the green house with the white trim looking up at the onion and imagining people actually dying in there and it not being just a horror house in a theme park... but the two girls were with me talking animatedly about what they had seen inside an the boy too... some of the tings were the same.. but some were different.. We drove back out of the park to the hotel nearby we were staying at.. I took a head count to make sure all the students were back and I just remember looking out of the window and seeing blue sky... and a stranger walking by... Me (11:17:48 PM): in a green sweater... Me (11:18:03 PM): But the whole time I knew it was a dream... I’d dreamt of the house of horrors before.... Kris (11:18:19 PM): interesting Me (11:18:41 PM): There was much more... but I don’t' recall it clearly.. Me (11:18:58 PM): I just recall in the dream being genuinely terrified even though I knew on a conscious level it was only a dream... Kris (11:19:15 PM): I have had those dreams before Me (11:19:18 PM): It was like a personal horror you know.. all the things that can make you fearful in one place... Kris (11:19:33 PM): I hate those dreams Kris (11:19:42 PM): I wake up shaking usually Me (11:19:59 PM): I think when I got out then went back in.. I thin k I had actually woken up then fallen back asleep.. it lasted all night Me (11:20:39 PM): ack.. it's late... I think I need to get to bed... I still have to put fresh sheets on Me (11:20:50 PM): can you make anything of a dream like that? Kris (11:21:02 PM): No I need to think upon it..... Kris (11:21:07 PM): *licks and nibbles* Me (11:21:54 PM): *nod* Well, I'm going to get off to bed then... Kris (11:22:05 PM): kk.....cya tomorrow? Me (11:22:12 PM): I'll try to be on tomorrow evening.. but don't expect me before 7est Kris (11:22:43 PM): *pulls into bed with and snuggles* Me (11:23:46 PM): *purrs* G'night dear.. see you tomorrow! Kris (11:23:57 PM): Gnite...... Kris (11:24:04 PM): til tomorrow Any takers on that one? Okay, in addition... for the record, I went clubbing last night. It's my first time going to the Warehouse since they moved. I rather liked it. Ladonna, we must go when you return, my dear! I think you'll like it! It started off as a good time... Chuck said hello and I was so glad to see at least one familiar face. Though, i knew he was going because he's the one I had called for directions. This is going to sound really lame, but I swear this is how it was! It was kind of dim and hazy as clubs tend to be... and across the room I spied sitting at the bar... GARY OLDMAN! Okay, so he isn't -really- Gary Oldman, but he looks like him and that's enough for me. We were acquinated briefly when I went to the Warehouse over the summer. Well, of course I wanted to say something... but, I was afriad it was come off as flirting (which it probably would have been, in all honesty) and since I know who he's seeing and another friend of his, I didn't want to put myself in an awkward situation. Behold my self-restraint! Huzzah! So then, I had these two guys hit on me... One claimed to be some sort of talent scout (Im wary). He gave me his card, introduced himself, said he'd noticed me on the dancefloor... Noticed my corseted breasts more likely. Praise that Bram had arrived and came over to rescue me. Or at least provide enough distraction to keep me from being rude. Guy number two was a little less coy... Asked to buy me a drink... Got me water for a time.. Danced with me.. very persistent despite all my hints that I wasn't interested. He wants me to go up to Dayton to club... Yeah right. Though some young boy asked me where I learned to dance.. That was somewhat flattering. After I answered he dind't persist in conversation. It's nice to knwo some people don't club just to get laid or for the potential to get laid. Though I did notice my friend Cuck.. He looks kinda like Craig Parker... At least under the lights and stuff. *snicker* That's neat! Ciao! |
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Had a -very- trying weekend... Had a weird dream night before last... And just for the record: MALES ARE DUMB!! |
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Sooo.... The dorm is okay... Roomies are... okay. They party a little more than I like but hopefully that will all be taken care of soon. It's very hard for me to focus with people in and out, the tele and the radio on CONSTANTLY. I have lots of reading to do. But I have a project to do on The Silmarillion. That makes me happy. I love the stories told in it. In addition I'm finishing Ivanhoe, then I have to read A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, The Name of the Rose, and The Tale of Genji... All that plus the short sci fi and fantasy stories for my science fiction class! Wow! And.. I'm blonde now! Woohoo! *pose* Well, off I got to loiter before class and hope the person I most want to speak with right now logs online. Ciao! |
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Why is it that if one has opinion that differs from the Bush administration and states such an opinion in any way, shape, or form one is considered to be "anti-American" or spreading "anti-American propaganda"? Why is it that since 11 September, Americans have been willing to give up freedom after freedom and even strip them from one and other in the name of "patriotism" and a security that we can never truly have? How can it be that an OPINION can be wrong? It's an opinion... Formed by the thoughts and experience of a person... Not rooted in science or anything concrete that can be proven. I've been listening to and reading the news a lot lately... Both the standard news like CNN and Fox and less-standard news such as AlterNet.org and Air America Radio. I've learned a lot lately about the current politics in the world, not just in America. This is good since I find my political sciences classes so interesting. And the conclusion of come to is this: the 2004 elections may very well be the most important election for the state of the world. If America's leaders can continue with such disregard for the welfare of the world population, I fear what our people and our country will come to. I have made a point of -not- listening to news on the war... I had already formed my opinion on it and the reasons for it and thusly chose to distance myself from it. But articles I've read of late had made it impossible for me to ignore any longer. It is my hope that such things will jar the younger generation of Americans as much as it has jarred me. It is also my hope that it will rise some emotion within the youth to get us out there to vote! I truly feel that this is a very important issue, more so than I ever have before. For some reference, here are a few articles I've found. War Crimes in Afghanistan Calling of a Generation US to Use Depleted Uranium Legality of Depleted Uranium Use |
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Why is that one bad incident through out the course of the day can completely devestate an entire good day? On top of that... There's a run in my hose... and I'm hungry but I don't know where any restaurants are. *Sigh* On another note... VOTE RAISTLIN/DALAMAR 2004! |
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| Trendy people suck. That's all I have to say. |
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Who do I have to know to get this for -my- bathroom sink? *melts into a puddle of fan-girl goo* On a completely different note... The new trailer for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban looks yummy. I think I'll have to get a better look at the Dementor's to make my decision on them... Very eager to see Gary as Sirius.... And also to see the new Dumbledore and how well the new director is working out. And one more note.. packing to move this weekend so chances are I won't be online at all until next week.... |
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Grrrr... my design skills suck! Suck, suck suck! So I'm trying to do this new layout... and at the same time persuing the net for new wallpapers... And I stumble across a great site that has wallpapers of greater quality than anything I could ever design... So... I suck. On that wallpaper note... Faramir is so unloved... He's second choice in the book (For Denethor and Eowyn, both!), he doesn't get to rule Gondor... He was an innocent victim of character assasination in the films... And the Nazgul have more wallpapers made of them than he does! My poor unloved Man! |
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Just when I thought Toledo couldn't be any more of a shit hole... My club is still closed. Okay, that I can cope with. Stupid fucking smoking ban has had it down since August. My DJs have found a new location, clearly thy have to make a living too. The club sounds awesome, honestly.. one of those new joints downtown... on Wednesday nights. Why Wednesdays?! Gods! This fucking sucks! Do all Gothic/Vampire types have themeans by which to live their lifestyle and NOT HAVE DAY JOBS?!?!? ... I hate the world right now. |
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Hrm... been a while since I blogged. I attribute it mostly to laziness on my part but also to severe issues with the computer. It was schedule for a format today but, since I was unable to get my CD burner to work I couldn't back up my files in time... So, I'm stuck waiting until next weekend when Ada comes home. *le sigh* C'est la vie. Went to see Return of the King again this week. Never fear, I had a movie pass, I may go see it again today, I'm not sure. I want to watch the whole trilogy again if I do... I want to make a little list of what I think were the bests in the movie. Like.. Boromir's death. By far the -best- death in the films. I'm not saying that Haldir or Theoden-King didn't have good deaths, they did! But sadly both wre attacked by cowardly foes who couldn't face them like real men... Haldir got axed in the back of the head and Theoden crushed under his horse when thrown. But Boromir! His death -redeemed- him! Tha'ts awesome! And the kiss from Aragorn doesn't hurt the scene, either ^_~ So anywho... It occures to me after seeing RotK for the fourth time... Yet another reason why I hate movie!Arwen. Liv Tyler doesn't even look like an elf, to me. Her head is kinda oblong and her features very... set into it. It gives a very round appearance with no contour. I fancy elves to have well defined almost angular features. She has not that quality. But, to each their own. They had to have some excuse to get the guys there, right? I should find out this week if I got accepted to the University of Cincinnati. Woot! I can't wait to know... I'm so nervous! Well, off I got for now. Ta ta! |
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First the good news: Praise be, my sister has contacted me and is well and still very much alive and happy in Moscow. Ladonna now has even more limited internet access then before... But, as long as she's happy all is well. And the bad: My weekend is already shot to the Abyss. I realized on Wednesday that I woudn't be able to go out of town for two reasons. (1) Most of my friends already have plans to be out of town so I would have no one to visit and (2) my -family- already has plans that include me. I remebered the theatre season passes mid-week.. That's Saturday afternoon. But, I thought since I have a long weekend I could still escape or maybe go to Ann Arbor to the anime shop and Mongolian BBQ. But no... Female biological contributor, once more exhibiting her genius, RSVP'd on my behalf to a baby shower I specifically told her I would nt be attending. That's Sunday. April won't come soon enough. In other news - piano and voice classes are fun! I learned my first two-handed piano piece! Go me! |
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| Hrm.. reading is good. Today I started American Gods by the most awesome Neil Gaiman. I'm hookd and shall now go back to reading. |
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What inner color are you? |
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I have become a Christian! I'm BORN AGAIN! Someone call Guiness (or get me a Guiness). Here's why I now believe in the ONE TRUE MERCIFUL GOD WHO WILL SMITE ME INTO THE FLAMES OF A THOUSAND HELLS FOR ALL ETERNITY IF I DON'T BELIEVE HE IS LOVE AND MERCY: Reason #483 - Arguement of Legolas  Therefore, God exits. I'm sold! |
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